Eight Strangers, one Taiwanese Tea Salon
On Being a Guest
In a busied world, where days seem to slip by, staying connected takes on even greater significance. This newsletter seeks to inspire through shared glimpses of life and moments of togetherness in France—drawing us closer, one story at a time.
Encountering new faces has always been a favorite pastime of mine. I often gravitate toward places that offer opportunities to mingle—like the welcoming Swedish Institute, which we explored in A Swede in Paris. While these spaces do offer moments to interact, there’s a limit—interactions rarely extend beyond ten minutes at best. Most visitors either come with friends or are busy on their own. However, to truly get to know someone takes more than a passing exchange—it asks for intentionality, proactive openness, curiosity, and a shared willingness to create the right moment and space for a more deliberate conversation.
But how can one purposefully create such moments?
One evening, a woman I once met at a conference introduced an app designed to connect strangers in real life—whether for drinks, a meal, a play, a ballet, clubbing, or dancing. The idea is simple: you can either host an event, offering X spots for people to shotgun, or become a guest yourself. Let the interactions begin.
That’s how I ended up spending an afternoon tea with seven complete strangers at a Taiwanese salon in the 1st arrondissement of Paris. Had you told me I’d be "shotgunning" a tea session, I would’ve laughed. Yet, here we were.
On Making an Entrance
As I entered, searching for the event host S., the owner informed me I was the first to arrive. With about five minutes before anyone else arrived, I had the luxury of settling in. I took my time removing my scarf and trench coat, carefully selecting the perfect spot to sit. It was paramount to get it right, as switching seats mid-event would have been awkward; the space was engineered to let just enough room for waitresses to move seamlessly between tables. Anticipating that S. would likely settle at the far end and near the ordering counter, I positioned myself at her presumed left, in one of the table’s corners. My intuition later proved correct.
At that moment, A. approached the table with energy, shopping bags in hand, slightly out of breath. She was the second to arrive, naturally placing herself in front of me, to S.'s assumed right. As she removed her coat, she swiftly initiated the conversation, explaining that she had just moved to Paris for work the previous week. When I asked how she knew about and was already using the app, she clarified that it wasn’t her first time in the city. She had attended similar events during previous visits, but this time, she had settled in for the unforeseeable future. Originally from Chicago, she had lived in New York and London—her first expat experience in Europe—and now, Paris was her second. When it was my turn to introduce myself, she was surprised to learn I was French—most of the program’s users were internationals or expats. It’s true, the French tend to keep to themselves, and I’ve yet to see many embrace an app for such a purpose.
Since the others were delayed, A. and I took our time exploring the tea selection, carefully guessing the perfect blends to complement the suggested Taiwanese egg cakes. This time, I decided on a lilac matcha.
On Entertaining Conversation
Soon, two men strolled in towards us, assuming A. and I were there for the event. They introduced themselves and, as an icebreaker, mentioned that they had met previously at another gourmet experience the week before but couldn’t quite recall if we had crossed paths. Since it was my first outing, the three of them were curious about how I had found the app.
Moments later, S. arrived, excusing herself. She was followed by the final invitees, completing the group. As a gracious host, S. ordered an egg cake platter for everyone while we selected our drinks and introduced herself as a Taiwanese private chef. As the group grew more patchwork-like, with everyone’s unique energy, S. engaged us with her story—sharing her background and explaining why she had chosen this tea salon as the setting for our gathering
At first, our dynamic felt a bit mechanical. There was a palpable hesitation as we hadn't yet uncovered the key talking points to spark conversation and engage everyone, beyond our shared interest in discovering new culinary tastes. Since I was the only “blue” to the app, and probably the youngest at the table, everyone was curious about the types of gatherings I might enjoy. Soon enough, the group naturally divided into smaller clusters, each conversation taking on its own shape. I found myself in a lively exchange about the various IRL gatherings we’d attended through apps—comparing favorites and discussing what could make these experiences even better.
As the minutes passed, the initial stiffness began to fade. The mood lightened, and by the thirty-minute mark, jokes were flowing freely. The conversation turned playful when I likened the fluffy egg cakes to Dragonball clouds. We found ourselves laughing about clubbing and festival anecdotes from Berlin, London, and Black Rock City, and joked about how the engineering-heavy Arts et Métiers Museum had ended up being anything but soporific, contrary to its serious name. By then, three of us were already brainstorming ideas for our next gathering, eager to reconnect.
On a final note, our host, S., surprised each of us with a delicate attention, a pineapple-flavored pastry she and her mother had brought back from their recent trip to Taiwan in early October. It was a thoughful gesture that added an all-the-more personal touch to the gathering.
After expressing our gratitude, one fellow guest and I continued our conversation as we sauntered towards the subway together, matching each other's pace. We soon discovered that we had both attended the same ‘preparatory classes’ (renowned higher studies in France) in the 16th arrondissement of Paris, though nearly a decade apart—he had pursued the science track while I had opted for the business curriculum. It directly reinforced our rapport and mutual understanding.
Before parting ways, we agreed it would be nice to meet again soon. There was a mutual sense of camaraderie as we exchanged a few more words, leaving with the intention to reconnect, whether for a museum visit or another culinary outing.
On Being a Guest
A two-hour social gathering is the perfect balance for mingling, whether meeting new faces or reconnecting with old ones. It strikes that sweet spot—long enough to build meaningful connections, yet brief enough to maintain energy. With six, ten, or twenty people, engaging in two or three conversations usually proves the most fulfilling. On this occasion, I had the Jupiterian pleasure of surfing through and deep diving into both lighthearted banter and thoughtful exchanges with seven acquaintances, each hailing from a different corner of the world with their unique perspectives.
Having been honored as a guest, I now look forward to hosting a Thanksgiving cocktail in the 10th arrondissement of Paris on the 28th of November. The gathering will bring together the warmth of long-standing friendships with the excitement of new connections, creating an environment where the familiar and the unknown can meet. The experience will be recounted in an upcoming Substack post.
✒️ To those inclined
Are you more of a social butterfly or a quiet observer?
Where can we find you most of the time?
Would you dare plunge into a room full of strangers?
✦ Your move.
Risk a blind friend-date.
French Connections is built on reciprocated attention.
Thank you for being here.
I am enjoying reading about your life in Paris! For me, I think I fall in the middle… my personality is not super extroverted, I prefer to be in smaller groups or one on one settings most of the time. I CRAVE social time and having deep, meaningful conversations with people. And I also find that I need lots of alone time… I think it’s a healthy mix of both.
You will most often find me in a coffee shop or at a bookstore! 📚☕️😊
As for your question, I'm a half-introvert, half-extrovert, so depending on the occasion I may sit back and be a quiet observer or mix and mingle with the best of them!